When it rains it pours. This week it poured. I got sick on sunday night, missed flag detail on monday morning (meaning death by ROTC), I ended being to sick to go to class until friday, but still had to take two midterms, my phone broke, and then in the turmoil of all that I got a call on my room phone (currently my only connection to the outside world) that my grandfather had passed away and I wouldn't be able to attend the funeral..... What can a man do? I turn to my Savior but have found no comfort. Loneliness crowds my heart as I try to find a God I can actually touch. I miss my friends and my familiar lifestyle, but I tell myself over and over I am right where God wants me. I know it's the truth, but the truth hurts.
Madam Life, I bid you take your claws off of my neck and sink them into something worth your time.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Life in Reversal
He sits quietly,
hoping for hope,
reaching for weakness,
but landing in puddles of pride.
He sees his failures as a poignant reminder;
a lesson learned he plays over and over in his mind
as a fable.
Funny thing with fables,
they contain the word able,
steeped with possibility of renewal
and lasrever.
tub s'taht eht ytuaeb fo efil
ti syawla stneserp a eciohc.
hoping for hope,
reaching for weakness,
but landing in puddles of pride.
He sees his failures as a poignant reminder;
a lesson learned he plays over and over in his mind
as a fable.
Funny thing with fables,
they contain the word able,
steeped with possibility of renewal
and lasrever.
tub s'taht eht ytuaeb fo efil
ti syawla stneserp a eciohc.
Monday, February 15, 2010
The crocodile
I would give anything to borrow captain Hook's hammer,
to escape the crocodile.
How cruel the clock that ticks on a silver chain.
How cold the metal casing.
With each time my hand travels to my pocket,
a new burn,
as fingers brush gleaming steel.
to escape the crocodile.
How cruel the clock that ticks on a silver chain.
How cold the metal casing.
With each time my hand travels to my pocket,
a new burn,
as fingers brush gleaming steel.
Colored Band
This colored band,
this piece of cloth that never leaves,
has lost it's youthful charm.
The gash it rubbed in my leg
only an ironic reminder.
This colored band,
this piece of cloth I can't take off,
clings to my leg like a shackle,
leaving a trail of blood running to my sock.
An ironic reminder of a rose turned thorn.
this piece of cloth that never leaves,
has lost it's youthful charm.
The gash it rubbed in my leg
only an ironic reminder.
This colored band,
this piece of cloth I can't take off,
clings to my leg like a shackle,
leaving a trail of blood running to my sock.
An ironic reminder of a rose turned thorn.
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Mind
Just a reflection on my own reflections.
A whirlwind
with a sound like a freight train.
A spinning cerebral cortex.
A mass of millions of neurons firing
in a whirlwind.
A swell
with a sound like a crashing wave
a soaring tidal surge.
A mammoth beast of water washing over my mind
in a swell.
They call it life.
It’s been referred to as knowledge,
as wisdom.
But it feels like a swell,
and it sounds like a whirlwind.
A whirlwind
with a sound like a freight train.
A spinning cerebral cortex.
A mass of millions of neurons firing
in a whirlwind.
A swell
with a sound like a crashing wave
a soaring tidal surge.
A mammoth beast of water washing over my mind
in a swell.
They call it life.
It’s been referred to as knowledge,
as wisdom.
But it feels like a swell,
and it sounds like a whirlwind.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
God's honest truth
School is ridiculously busy. I hardly have time to process what all I am learning. I'm so busy I don't have time digest the past, but today I had a little break and was able to hear the silence again. When that happened, I realized how much I have to think about. I realized that I have been shouting down the pain of life with a crazy schedule and a crowded mind. There is so much pain in this world and I can't ignore it by only focusing on my own life. I can't even ignore the pain in my own life by focusing on my on life. Ha! How ironic is that! I need more time to listen, to masticate, and digest what is happening around me. I need my Savior, and that's God's honest truth.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I have thought allot about my purpose in the last few days. The amazing story of how I came to Seattle has continued now that I am here and God's blessings have continued to pour out in amazing ways. I have been reminded of his faithfulness through so many experiences. The wonderfully accepting family nature of the cross country team and the way they have pointed me more toward Christ in such an encouraging way, the random hundred dollar check I received in the mail, meeting Gregg (who happens to be not only exactly like me, but a ridiculously strong and passionate christian), the incredible floor known as 6th hill that is full of Godly brotherhood, and even ROTC's continuing financing of my college experience all continually remind me that I am meant to be here.
The question I am struggling with is, "what am I supposed to do now that I am here?" For some reason I have a strong attraction to inner city ministry that is really unexplained, but is a strong attraction enough to call it my purpose? I Pray for guidance. I seek wisdom. I peruse the pages of passionate literary geniuses for answers. Truthfully I need to spend time with my savior. I need his guidance more than anything.
My greatest fear is that I would waste this opportunity that God has given to expand his kingdom. May his name be uplifted through me.
The question I am struggling with is, "what am I supposed to do now that I am here?" For some reason I have a strong attraction to inner city ministry that is really unexplained, but is a strong attraction enough to call it my purpose? I Pray for guidance. I seek wisdom. I peruse the pages of passionate literary geniuses for answers. Truthfully I need to spend time with my savior. I need his guidance more than anything.
My greatest fear is that I would waste this opportunity that God has given to expand his kingdom. May his name be uplifted through me.
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